i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
