she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize