I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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