Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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