apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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