Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
