with your own penis?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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