Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
