remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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