do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
