we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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