Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize