...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
