And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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