The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
