He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
