My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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