I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
