Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
