"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
