he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
