hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
