Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
