i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
