I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
