I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Come see our sink grown plant.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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