I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
