I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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