If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
