I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
