I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
