I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think your dad took our porno
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just had sex on a roof
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
