No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
