think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
