Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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