So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
