this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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