It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
