So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is Oprah even human
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
