Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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