I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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