But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
