The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
