I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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