U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
