plz talk dirty to me
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
