Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
