i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
