he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
