he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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