I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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