I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
