I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Less talking, more tequila
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
