i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
