It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
