The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
