The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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