What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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