i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
