Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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