and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize